A Guide to Clubbing in South Africa: A Night to Remember or Forget.
The Club. A magical world where the nights are long, the lights are blinding, and the music is loud enough to drown out the sound of your thoughts. It’s a rite of passage, a weekly ritual for some, or a terrible experience, depending on who you are.
If you’re new to the clubbing scene or just looking to refine your nocturnal escapades, buckle up! We’re here to show you exactly how to make the most of your first, or your next jol.
Enjoy the ride.
Pre-Club Prep
First things first, let’s talk about the pre-club hustle.
Finding the right place to go is crucial. If you’re heading to an unsavoury place, chances are you’re not going to enjoy yourself. If that’s your scene though, make sure you have a plan to get in and out at least somewhat safely.
Dress to impress, but remember, comfort is key unless you’re a fan of blisters and sweat-soaked shirts. Guys, a crisp shirt and decent shoes can go a long way. Ladies, that outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks?
Wear that one.
The Squad
Your clubbing crew can make or break your night.
You want a mix of the responsible friend who’ll make sure you don’t text your ex, the wild card who’ll get you on the dance floor, and the chill one who’s up for anything (but not too much of anything).
Balance is crucial – too many wild cards, and you might end up on a milk carton or in the holding cell at the nearest precinct.
Your mates are your mates though and it doesn’t hurt anyone to be the responsible one yourself.
Pregame
Navigating that delicate dance of getting buzzed enough to feel confident on the dance floor but sober enough to remember your name.
It’s tempting to go all in, but remember, the club is a marathon, not a sprint and trust me when I say that rocking up rocking side to side may not be the best idea you’ve ever had.
Save some energy (and liver function) for the main event.
Transport
How are you getting to the club?
How are you getting back?
These are important questions, folks. Designate a driver, split an Uber, or catch a taxi. Whatever you do, plan ahead. There’s nothing less glamorous than being stranded outside a club at 3 AM.
If you are the designated driver, don’t compromise the experience for everyone. It’s not worth it.
In the Club
You’ve made it to the club, congratulations!
Now, it’s about navigating this pulsating, sweaty jungle. The bar is where you fuel up, the dance floor is where you let loose, and the chill-out area is your refuge. Remember to hydrate (with water, not just vodka) and maybe check in with your friends occasionally.
Clubs are social hubs.
Want to make new friends? Go for it.
Flirting? Sure, but keep it respectful.
And if someone’s not interested, no sweat – take it on the chin and move on. There are plenty more fish at the party.
Calling it a night
All good things must come to an end.
Know when it’s time to head home – whether it’s because the club is closing, your feet are staging a protest, or one of your mates decided that it’s a good idea to close their eyes for the rest of the night.
Exit with dignity, grab some late-night eats if needed, and pat yourself on the back for surviving.
You’re night out has officially come to an end. As long as everyone is home safe, you can officially call your mission a success. Sure the world is going to be spinning for a while but as long as you hydrated throughout the night, tomorrow you’ll feel a lot better.
If you’ve got some of your own crazy clubbing escapades, be sure to leave a comment and let South Africa know what to do, or what not to do.
